You experience flatulence:
- (a) 1 - 6 times a day, but I manage to keep them well hidden and pretend it’s someone else.
- (b) 7 - 14 times a day, they just pop out when I laugh, sneeze, or bend over.
- (c) 15 - 20 times a day and I don’t care who’s around.
Pain
- (a) I am not in any pain, the alcohol hasn’t worn off yet.
- (b) I have a pain that moves around in different places on my body every day.
- (c) I can predict the weather from my pains.
Sight
- (a) I have 20/20 vision, but I don’t read much.
- (b) I’d have 20/20 vision if I squint hard enough.
- (c) Visions? When? Who had them? Stay away from the light! They only want you dead so they can spend your cash.
Music
- (a) My music is not loud, it’s just different.
- (b) Most young people play their music too loudly.
- (c) Most people play their music too quietly.
Driving
- (a) I’ll be there in an hour.
- (b) Two hours, depending on traffic. I should get there in time for a cup of tea before we start.
- (c) Where is it I’m meant to be going?
Crushes
- (a) Oh, I’ve got such a big crush on him.
- (b) Crushes are overrated.
- (c) I don’t crush the pills, I just take them whole, with water.
Memory
- (a) I can’t remember how much I paid for it. Doesn’t really matter, it looks good on me.
- (b) I paid £6. 79 for it. I got 20% knocked off in the sale.
- (c) When I was 10 years old, it cost £ 3.95. They don’t make them like that anymore.
By the way, if you’ve picked c in any of these, you’re not getting old, you’ve already arrived. In that case, welcome oldie, and watch that bucket, you don’t want to trip over it on your way in!
Source:How to Know When You're Getting Old
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