Hit and Run
This tactic works perfectly against most big, sluggish opponents. The tactic works like this: You hit them and you run away as fast as you can. Easy right? I Repeat, this tactic ONLY works on big, sluggish opponents. I also like to switch it up every now and then. Sometimes I use my car and also perform a hit and run. Although that method is not quite legal it does send a message their way. That message is: don’t mess with me cause i’ll run you over with my car.
Death Touch
This works PERFECTLY for any situation. If a attacker comes at you all you have to do is perform the mighty death touch and he’s out. Although a problem does come up quite often when they actually die from the death touch. Just remember to use it sparingly like maybe once or twice…. a week.
Go for the Balls
I don’t suggest this because I would hate to get hit down below, BUT if I’m in a fight against another man I’m going for the weak points first. As Sun Tzu once said “Thou Shalt hit thy balls if thy is against me” or something like that.
Kamehameha wave
This works every single time. Whether it be against your school bully or against the mega, ultra, destroyer of worlds, alien from another universe. The only dilemma is that this technique takes centuries to learn for a human, but if you’re from another planet like Vegeta then take advantage of this skill immediately.
Gain Superpowers
This seems simple enough, Radioactive slop + animal of your choice + you = New super powered you. I suggest either bathing in radioactive waste to gain super strength like the Hulk, or bathing a spider in radioactive waste and getting it to bite you like Spider Man. Although the chances you might get cancer or die is high, there still is that SLIM chance of gaining that superpower you always wanted right? Plus with superpowers you don’t need to learn how to fight you just WIN.
Call a Bodyguard
This one works if you’ve got the cash to afford one. Why fight when you can pay someone else to do it for you? Besides fighting and protecting your butt, your bodyguard might just teach you a valuable lesson or you might just fall in love with your bodyguard. Either way it’s worth the investment if you have loads of problems and cash.
Throw Sand in the Eyes
I learned this from the movie Bloodsport’s Chong Li. Although he did lose in the movie, if you really do throw some sand in your opponents eyes they won’t have the same sense like Van Damme did in the movie. Trust me I’ve done this several different times just throw sand and proceed to kick major butt. Before the fight also try and remember to look menacing by yelling “You are nex!”
WARNING: This article is a joke and not meant to be taken seriously I do not honestly suggest doing any of these tactics. I wrote this article for a laugh and I hope you had one. Please do not do any of these in a real fight.
Source:Don't Know How to Fight? Learn Now
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